Relationships are the most critically important repportoirs to us humans, as they are our source of validation, comfort, partnership, sex, … everything. And for better or for worse they shape us. Here is a list of 10 things you can do to better your relationship with a partner.

1. Learn the love languages. For some folks, it is by the act of giving gifts they express their love. Others are vocal about it. For others, it’s all about spending quality time together, and for yet others, it’s about acts of service. If you and your partner are expressing love in different ways there might be a lot of misunderstandings, and you might feel like your partner actually doesn’t care… when possibly they do! Learn more about the languages and take a test here.

2. Communication is always key. When you have mastered the love languages and know how you and your partner best receive and give love, all you really have to do is take notice when they do give, and follow up on giving back in a way that works for them.

3. Always expect the best from your partner. And with that I mean always expect them to have done something with good intentions. Never jump to conclusions. If they didn’t take out the garbage because they said they forgot, try and understand what might have been stressing them out to forget in the first place. Maybe you can help ease their everyday life?

4. Don’t be petty. And don’t hold grudges. They won’t do any of you any good, and if you always keep count you bet they will start keeping tabs too. Co-existing is not about a competition of who’s the most right, ot’s about building each other up and helping.

5. Don’t hold back. Don’t keep emotions to yourself in a relationship, share everything and expect the same amount of transparency from your partner. Be each other’s safe space to vent, cry, laugh, you name it.

6. Lead by example. Quite literally be the change you want to see in the relationship if something is not working. Are you guys arguing too much, are you always staying in, never doing anything new in the bedroom, not getting enough compliments from your partner? Well take charge! Talk things out without escalating it, find a restaurant to go out to, spice things up in the bedroom by bringing in a few toys or get yourself dressed up (you can find all you need in the shop!), etc. Start doing the things you lack yourself, towards your partner. Lead by example.

7. Memories! Make memories. Memories are the most important glue in any relationship. Make room for creating new ones, no matter how little time one has one can always do something nice for the other person. Break free from routines. Instead of eating at the table, make a picnic. If the weather is horrible grab pillows, a few lanterns, some nice fabrics and sit on the floor by candle light and eat. Could quite literally take 20 mins in total, and it might be unpractical, but the important part is to do things in a new, fun way every so often.

8. Have technology-free time. Together. Talk. Play games. Cards, monopoly, whatever. Live in the now and be present with each other without interruptions. Put each other first for a little while.

9. Appreciate all the little ways your partner puts you first. Notice them and vocally acknowledge that they do it. Don’t take the other person for granted, and don’t ever let them feel like they are optional.

10. Have a quiz ever so often. Ask each other questions to get to rhe core of their being. Look to the internet for inspiration if you lack it. Do some soul searching and self development together. Not only will it help each of you, it will help the two of you together as a unit and therefore better your relationship at large.

Wish you all a wonderful weekend!

-She

 

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